I Thessalonians 4:13 and 1 Peter 1:3-9
This sermon addresses the natural occurrence of grief that we feel when we experience losses in our lives, but more than that, it also encourages our congregation. My blog entry will not so much explore some biblical or theological truth as it will simply give some background as to why this sermon was important for us right now. And I will share a bit more of my own story.
Last year, 2011, held a significant number and variety of losses for our congregation and for various of our families. These losses ranged from the death of long time and more recent church members or attenders, to the loss of relationships due to various circumstances, to job losses and to some transitions made in ministries in the church.
These kind of things happen all the time in congregations, of course, but last year held an extraordinary number and variety of them. The result is that hardly a person in the church has not been impacted to some degree. I wrote about this in my November pastor's page in our Newsletter. Read it here http://www.ephratabrethren.org/newsletters/2011_november.pdf (scroll to page three). Since then, there have been even more losses, some of them of a tragic nature.
Part way through the year, I realized that I was grieving. One would think that since a pastor deals with this kind of thing all the time, that we would be immune to it. Quite untrue. Though we feel some losses in a greater way than others, we always feel them, but usually have learned to process them in healthy ways. What made this year different for me was that some of the losses we experienced hit me on a very personal level, and I found that I was feeling the loss on very deep levels. I was feeling alone, discouraged, lethargic and afraid. Yes, afraid. I had lost some people close to me, some by death others by a breach in relationship. I was not sure I wanted to trust anyone anymore, if all that would happen is that I would lose them someday.
One strange thing happened; I began to question my ability to lead. If you know me, you know how weird that is. That scared me even more.
Anyway, not to moan or complain, the sun did come up again, but it took some intentional work on my part. I sought out people to talk to about my feelings, including a fellow pastor who is a trained and gifted counselor. I got honest with my feelings, and shared them with others, and with God. I exercised faith and hope. In other words, I trusted God and began to look around me and to the future. And in the midst of all this, God showed up in my life in surprising and wonderful ways, and I am now on the healing side of grief. I say I am on the healing side of grief--I am not saying I do not still feel some losses in keen ways.
So if is was true for me, I knew that it was also true for many others in the congregation. The wide spread experience of grief had an impact on our corporate experience. For a while there was a heaviness upon us as we gathered. There is such a thing as corporate grief, but it has not been researched well. You can listen to church consultants Kris and Bill Tenny-Brittian discuss the topic here http://churchtalk.tv/on-demand/view/?tx_ttnews%5Btt_news%5D=778&cHash=38a9615850632b5a57253f72ec7f04ed.
I sense this heaviness is lifting. (Last week's celebration of Baptism and Communion was a wonderful upbeat time of celebration for us.) We are moving forward. It is still a part of who we are, but are recovering. I know some of us individually may be still be struggling and will be for a while (the natural grief cycle lasts about a year or so), but we all can move on, if we handle our grief well. Thus, the sermon today.
If you feel you or a friend is stuck in his or her grief, here is a good read by the Mayo Clinic http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/complicated-grief/DS01023. It deals with complicated grief, a situation that occurs when we get stuck somewhere in the natural process and cannot move forward.
If you want to talk about your grief, give me a call and we can cry together.
Thanks for digging deeper.
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